Are you not mysterious enough? Do people not ask you about your extensive lore? Well it's time to change that! Locate a 10-foot drum of hydrochloride, and set up a diving board about 25-feet above the center of the drum. For optimal results, wear a purple suit and dye your hair a dark shade of "stay away from me, I have 12 mental disorders" green. Make sure to get out of the acid after 60 seconds, or your organs will start to dissolve. You're bound to have people curious about your new look!

Hate your physics class? We have the solution! Lock your physics professor in his car, and make sure he can't get out. Then whip out your ESAB 250 Oxyacetylene high-power industrial grade arc welding torch (any military-grade arc welder will suffice), and weld his doors shut. Make sure to also disable the air conditioning, and seal the inside from air intake. Proceed to explain Schrodinger's Cat theory to him, replacing  the word "cat" with "professor" during your lecture. For optimal results, make sure to make it 4 last hours or longer. If he falls asleep and doesn't get up, don't worry! He's totally listening!

Ever heard the saying "you'll never know until you try"? Well, that quote is true! So, if you jump off a cliff, then and only then you'll have the chance to learn how to fly! While your falling to your doom, think of how easy commuting to work will be! Ever dreaded traffic? not anymore! If you jump off a cliff, I personally guarantee you'll fly! Sadly, you'll most likely end up flying into the ground at terminal velocity, not flying to work.

People these days are too comfortable all the time. Terrorists could attack our borders at any minute! Help keep these good American citizens prepared, and go into a crowded airport and yell "I HAVE A BOMB!" as loud as you possibly can. For optimal results, wear a large coat with C4 strapped inside. Make sure everyone ducks, covers and runs so they pass the test. When the police beat you to the ground and/or shoot your face off, you'll know they passed too.

Ever seen the Flash? No, of course not, Ezra Miller was in it. But you know the Flash! YOU can become speed itself, and all you need is a fork, and a electrical outlet with at least 120 watts running at 50 volts! Don't worry, it's totally safe! For optimal results, make sure to wrap your head and genitalia in tinfoil, to gain ultra superspeed powers! If you don't have a wall outlet or fork, you can also take a bath with your running toaster!

Those cute little eels won't charge themselves! They need energy to browse TikTok too! Have some compassion for the little critters. You wouldn't want them to go below 20%, would you? If you're feeling really charitable, jump in with the batteries so the eels can also feed on your floating carcass. 

POV: you and your pals got very (I mean very) drunk, and decide to rob a bank. To minimize the chances you all get caught, you drive separately. Your buddy Jim said you'd forget what bank, and everyone laughed. You bet $5 you wouldn't, and you did. Either admit defeat, or ask the friendly neighborhood sheriff for some directions. Sound silly? I betcha $5 you won't try it. 

Want to get thousands of dollars worth of (allegedly) illegally harvested organs, but don't want to pay $9.99 for a VPN? Then you're in luck! Load up tor with no internet protection. Make sure to pay with your debit card as well, as using crypto gets annoying after a while. When the FBI shows up at your front door at least you got a kidney or two.

Nitroglycerin, also known as demon fluid, gets car's engines to turbo past their usual limits. Perfect for a night at a large stadium in front of thousands of people! Normally, you'd get tired after a few hours. But with a gallon or two nitroglycerin, heck, you, and everyone in a 20 foot radius, will be awake for the rest of your life!

Hyenas are annoying little fuckers. They're always yapping. Show 'em who's boss, and give one a little slap upside the head. That'll show that dangerous wild predator who's boss! Please note, after slapping a hyena, you will be ripped to shreds and then eaten. 

But jokes on him! Cause you hit him pretty good!

Pests like mosquitos are naturally attracted to heat signatures and light. Its the neighbors blood or yours man. You choose. And you remember when  their obnoxious devil spawn kid fucked up your hydrangeas?

Yeah. Fuck 'em back.